[Self] Pozdrav

After abandoning any posting for half a year, I suppose a proper ‘renewal’ greeting is in order. ^^

So, hello everyone, I sure hope you still remember me.

With 3 days to New Year, I have taken leave from my job so I can use the remaining days in 2009 in ease and relaxation. Well, liar… actually I still have 3 days worth of leave this year and because my company doesn’t accumulate the remaining leaves from the prior year to the next year, so, better use it than lose it, right?

And, so, today is the first day of my leave. Nothing special really happen. I wake up at 5 in the morning, decided against leaving my bed until past 9, turned on my laptop, chatted with my colleagues via IM (they should be working LOL), getting pissed off because one of my friend’s account keep sending me spam link (it’s virus, I think) and, oh, did I mention that I do all of it without leaving my bed? ^^ Well, I left sometime during meals and bath.

Anyway, the weather was cloudy for almost the whole time. It suits me fine actually. I kinda find the water smell exceptionally nice when the air is a bit chilly during cloudy day.  Not to mention the coolness from the water feels real nice against my skin, no wonder the tree loves the rain!!

With occasional rain during the night, I expect the trees at the banks of the river near my house to bloom. I don’t know what kind of trees are they, but one thing for sure, after a few days of hefty rain, the usually lush green leaves will be covered by strings of yellow flower the size of corn kernel!! I love the contrast of green and yellow in play. Sadly the flower usually last only for 2 or 3 days. Heavy rain and gushing wind tend to wash them away. But if you ever caught the sight of raining that flower petals, it’s magnificent…

Enough rambling, I’ll see you again in the next post. Oh, and I almost forgot…

Merry Christmas (too late) and Happy New Year (too early)!!



Lately I found myself waking up in the middle of the night with tear staining my pillow. I think I was dreaming of something, but I can’t remember what. Although when awake, I felt no sorrow nor anguish that could make me cry in agony…

Sometime when I was alone, I would look back to my past or sometime peek to my future. What dreaded me so is, to find that I look at complete darkness. I don’t remember what have I done in the past and I can’t look at myself in the future. But it’s not the complete darkness that scare me so… rather it was myself.

I feel like I have acomplished nothing although I got lot of memories from the past. There are something wrong… I know about it… but I can’t help it…

help me

and looking forward to my future, I don’t think there are lot to look at. Who knows the future ahead of them after all? Right now, all I can do is to pave my path bit by bit so I have something to walk on. Still, deep down, I feel nothing… Even if I got something what I want…I feel nothing…

It feels like trading gold for gold… I lost nothing, but gain nothing nevertheless…

[note] Ein und Zwei

The protagonist made a pact with the Devil to share half of his life so his beloved can be spare from death from the injury inflicted from an accident. However, after 24 hours passed, his beloved die. Outraged, he ran to find the Devil and finally confronted him in the site of his beloved accident.

… and then in the same place, another accident occured and put the protagonist to death…

It turned out the protagonist only had 2 days left on his life. He shared half of as the last day together with his beloved…

Broken Heart

“I want a pair of wings…”

It was on my summer camp.


I found a beautiful house on the other side of the lake…


A young lady was tending the wound from the bird of the forest,
robins, sparrows, and nightingales….


But her grief apparent as she worked,
as if her heart is filled with woe…


And when I muster my courage to approach her,
she reach out to me and said:

I want a pair of wings…. to follow on my beloved

I can feel the pain in each passing word she muttered,

…and I gave her my wings…

[note] Null und Ein

The protagonist lost her memory due to an accident. In order to regain her lost memory, she decided to take on a journey back to her childhood by writing 27 diaries, each for a single year of her life.

However, it turned out not as simple as it seems.  Confronted by her own past, she was forced to struggle out and straighten any tangled past she used to run away from.

From a bad break up with past boyfriends, fight with colleagues, unfulfilled promises, long lost friends and family… Will she found herself?

Life is merely a journey, most have to face it forward and never look back… but for less, they left it somewhere in the past…


As promised, I will explain a little bit detail behind each stories in this post. 

Gnathophyllidae or Harlequin Shrimp are a taxon of tropical shrimp that live on starfish diet. They are relatively small (about 2 inches) but their front legs act as a pseudo needle type projection to paralyze their prey which can be up to 10 times their own size. 

I also mention the chicory flower in the story. Chicory is a perennial herb with lavender, white or blue flowers. The chicory flower in the story is blue as I put it as a symbol of romanticsm (the protagonist held close the hadkerchief because it’s the only memento to her hometown which has been gone) however she finally let it go in trade for basic necessity, food (the starfish, which also eaten by people from around Amakusa River in food shortage).

Of Todesstuhl and Red Língzhī
This story is about mushroom. Todesstuhl is a German word means ‘death’s stool’ because it’s often applied for poisonous mushroom. The poisonous mushroom in the story was Fliegenpilz – ‘Amanita muscaria’ or ‘Fly Agaric’- that used for insecticide by sprinkling it on milk.

Red Língzhī, however is a potent mushroom that used for traditional Chinese medicine because of its presumed health benefit. According to The Chinese Herbal Materia Medica(本草綱目), the mushroom can be classified into 6 categories with the red lingzhi believed to nourish the heart. The mushroom are saprotroph on variety of trees, for example Tsuga (hemlock) tree. 

Thus in the story, the fairy choosed ‘death’ over ‘remedy’ for her heartache, only because there’s no remedy for her at the moment.

Key Lime Pie
Key Lime Pie is a dessert made from key lime juice, egg yolk and sweetened condensed milk in a pie crust. A reaction from the acidic lime juice and the condensed milk causing the filling to thicken without baking.

The story itself is not centralized over the pie, but rather the short love story that in my own opinion is a bit tart… However, just like the pie, a love story is a mixture of sweet and sour 🙂 and sometime all it takes is a ‘chemical reaction’ between two people.

Oneiroi were the brothers or sons of Hypnos, the god of sleep in Greek mythology. They were personification of dreams with Morpheus as the most powerful over his two brothers, Phobetor and Phantasos. Each Oneiroi shaped different figure in dreams. Morpheus shaped human figures, Phobetor animal and Phantasos inanimate objects.

In the story, the protagonist supposedly die within a day. However without a clear known cause she repeated the whole day of her death again and again, as if the previous day only fleeting dreams. She was the human, the music as inanimate object and the dog, Ikki as the animal figure.

The end of the story actually marked the protagonist death because in Greek mythology, Hypnos has a twin brother, Thanatos or ‘death’.

The word amalgamation used to describe a combination. In the story, the mother is a chimera and her DNA from some part of her tissues organ may not in match with the baby. Thus she may not be able to become an organ donor for her own child.

At first I considered writing a story about an odd eyed cat, however a story between mother and baby just fit my mood at the moment.

The Tempest Prognosticator
The Tempest Prognosticator, also known as Leech Barometer was a device with 12 leeches inside 12 small bottles that will climb to the top of each bottles when they were agitated by a coming storm. When they reached the top of the bottles, the leeches will trigger a bell and the likelihood the storm is coming was measured by the number of bell struck.

The British goverment however opted to another weather forecasting device called Storm Glass to be used. The sealed glass containing liquid that a mix of distilled water, ethanol, potassium nitrate, ammonium chloride and camphor. The liquid solubility inside will change accordingly to the temperature and pressure. For example a cloudy glass with small stars inside indicates thunderstorm.

Undina or Undine or Ondine is enumerated as the water elementals. They are water nymphs without a soul and only by marrying a man and bearing his child, she will acquire a soul. But by doing so, she’ll lose her gift of immortality.

In German mythology about Ondine, she fell in love and married to a knight. In his marriage vow, the knight gave his promise for his every waking breath to be pledge for faithfulness for his wife. However the knight lost interest to Ondine as she aged after giving birth to their son and became unfaithful. So Ondine put a curse on him, as he pledged his waking breath, he would forget to breathe should he fall asleep.

In fact, there’s a real disease known as Ondine curse, that is congenital central hypoventilation syndrome or primary alveolar hypoventilation.

Aes Sídhe
Aes Sídhe or aos sí are magical people with great power who were said to live in alternate existance of human dimension so their world was an invisible one. They are sometime seen as fierce guardian of their abode or sídhe. In Gaelic folklore, they are not named directly but rather spoken of with euphemisms.

From an Irish word for clover. It’s not to be confused with four-leaf clover because the seamair or seamrog (shamrock) is a three-leaf clover and used by the Irish Christian to symbolize the Holy Trinity.

However in the story, I mainly focused on the concept of 3 (described as the family) rather than it’s original significance.

Hatsuyuki means the first snow, and I wrote this story in the middle of the night when my mood is a bit blue. This particular story… I have a plan to make a continuation of it. So because the story lack any details to be told, I will use this part to foretold the story in the future.

The story will be about an immortal man who fell in love to a mortal woman. He thought his love is unrequited and decided to left the woman. However he can’t denied his own love and continue to watch over and promised to protect her forever. The woman then get married, give birth, grew old and finally died in old age. So for once, the man realize he would never fullfiled his promise because no mortal live forever.

Drowned by his remorse, he met a girl who looked like his old love. Will she become his cure or, rather, his curse?

Ma Nam Erenka

Simple Note

Good readers,

It took me a while longer than 10 days to finish the whole 10 stories and for that I would like to offer my sincere apology.

As I noticed, you’ve been kindly enough to leave comments and I most appreciate it. However, with this note I would like to ask for your willingness to put a comment on which story is your favourite and why it became your favourite.

Thank you.

Ma Nam Erenka